Today was a good day at work considering there was definitely elements trying to under mind my efforts every step of the way. Even up to the last five minutes before work ended for the day.
Annoyed I left work for the gym. I am determined. I spent almost an hour on the recumbent elliptical . My legs are like Jell-O. I am miserable. I pedaled five miles total. Walking down the stairs to the woman's locker room without falling was oh so amusing. Once I reached my destination, I was in a lot of pain. Next to my locker a slender, fit woman (in my eyes) putting on an entire SPANX body suit. She had a gorgeous figure. But she was wearing it for her own reasons and I didn't think she needed the SPANX. I sat on the bench in front of my locker and looked down on the floor ready to cry. She said "hey, I am proud of you." My tears fell with her words. I stood up and grabbed my belongings from the locker. I turned to her and said "Thank you." She patted my shoulder and I know she saw my tears. I wobbled out of that locker room and gym. I cried the entire walk back to my car.
Honestly this true first day was difficult. Outside influences and stress from work were hard to fight. I questioned my worth and if anyone cared. My friends T, K , S and M gave me the encouragement to keep going and to turn off those outside noises. Thank you ladies. This isn't easy confessing that this shit is hard. I am so exhausted, food does not sound good to me. But I will eat. I promise. One hot shower and a facial pore minimizing mask, and quick blog to you fine readers has perked me up.
This is hard. This road is going to have it's distractions and much intimidation. I will keep on this bumpy road until I get to my final destination. Just teltschik like it is. Goodnight.



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