Today is day one in my journey of 2021. Reader if you are not interested in a whiny, pathetic, whoa is me kind of journey than Thank you for the consideration. But I am here to be honest about my flaws and my daily journey. Some days will be similar to your own and some you won't identify with but can empathize.
I am exhausted of being overweight. The limitations are embarrassing. All my life I heard "She's the pretty one, but she is fat." I can't explain the hurt of those words. I didn't hear it just once in my life, but all my life. I also do not think I am pretty. I look at my siblings and see natural beauty. If I see one thing that is pretty about me than I would have to say it is my hair. Though more gray is showing these days, it is still my one true physical beauty.
I have tried several times with little to no success. I tried Keto and it worked as long as I kept to the meal plan. Honestly it made me ill and sluggish. I did lose weight but I felt awful. My husband had a life threatening ailment and I dropped the Keto diet and focused on getting him well and thus I began eating my emotions. (Did I mention I have emotional issues) This is nothing unusual for me. I have witnessed him lose over 250lbs. He has successfully done this with diet and exercise. I am beyond proud of him. His accomplishments are worthy of the praises and surprised looks that he receives everywhere we go. No, I am not jealous. Though my insecurities take a bigger hit when I hear "Wow David you look so good. I didn't recognize you. (two second pause and glance in my direction) You both look good." Try to convince me those words used to include me were not just to be nice.
Today is the first day of the year. I am not running out the door to the gym to get a start on my journey. I am cleaning my house. I want a neat and orderly home. My husband has left for the gym. He goes everyday, so I am not talking about him. But I am not going to hit the ground running only to hit a wall and give up early on my pursuit of a happier me.
The journey has started and the journey starts with my home. Letting go of things such as clothes and clutter that I no longer need in my life.
Here are are two pictures I took of myself at local store bathroom on December 31, 2020. I know its cliché, but they have great mirrors and I was all alone and needed to see what everyone sees. BTW Dillard's bathrooms are always clean.😊


I watch TikTok videos and see how everyone is confident in their curves and fupas and how beautiful these woman are in their skin. I feel this time in our lives all body types are loved more and accepted especially the full figured beauty. I see how men love curvy girls. I dated men who loved me and my curves, and I married a man who appreciates the curves. Curves are beautiful and everyone carries them well. I know what I look like, but the weight literally weighs me down. No outfit or designer handbag is going to help me. Only weighs me down lol.
Should I lose the weight I desire, I will still be curvy and probably saggy. But I need to do this for myself. For my health. For my self esteem. For ME.
I am going to Teltschik like it is daily. I encourage everyone to do just the same.
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